Some say that dreams are the harbor of the human soul, one of the few opportunities in life to rest for a while, because in dreams you can have everything. But have you ever wondered if this harbor could become the key that opens the door to your own personal hell?
......
[Fortunately, you made it back in time. Miss Lappland's Oripathy has now been cured.] The figure under the mask said in a hoarse voice.
[Texas] The white wolf on the hospital bed said, [I'm better now. We can finally go home......]
Before the words finished, the entire ward began to collapse. Everything became fragmented, being pulled little by little into the black void. And from that void, faint, indescribable roars could be heard.
Walls, chandeliers, hospital beds, until finally the gentle smile on the white wolf's face.
[NO!]
......
Regaining consciousness again, the hustle and bustle of the busy street outside the window and the soft bed sheets reminded me that this was already reality.
[Was it a dream?] I raised my hands in front of my eyes. These hands that should have accompanied me for decades looked extraordinarily strange now.
[Who am I?]
[Texas!] A head poked in from the doorway, [Breakfast is ready. What are you staring at your hands for?]
[Are you Lappland?]
[Of course. Who else would I be? You must have slept wrong. Hurry up and wash up. We have to catch the train back to Syracuse today.]
Syracuse... such a familiar name, but why is there a hint of inexplicable sadness?
In the bathroom, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Gray wolf ears, reddish hair tips, and a carefully groomed tail behind me.
Every detail stimulated my brain, trying to make me remember something.
[Texas.] Maybe this is my name. But why does everything feel so unreal? Or am I still in a dream?
In the end, a sharp pain from the depths of my mind forced me to stop thinking.
[Forget it. I'll ask her later.] I turned and walked out of the bathroom.
Out of my sight, a blood-red eye without a pupil opened in the mirror behind me. With the opening of the eye, the things in the bathroom began to twist and obscure, incomprehensible strange characters appeared. Soon, the eye closed, and everything returned to normal, as if nothing had happened.
Walking out of the apartment building, although it was autumn, the air was filled with a suffocating moisture, mixed with a salty taste that was really annoying.
The irritable mood couldn't help but make me think of the strawberry bread for breakfast. For some reason, the red strawberry jam suddenly turned into purple mucus mixed with weird biological fragments. Thinking of this, my stomach convulsed again.
[Texas!]
The voice sounded frivolous but faintly carried a special tenderness.
[What's wrong with you today? Are you thinking about something?]
[Maybe.] Even though I said that, I didn't know myself.
Ever since I woke up, everything around me felt unreal, like bubbles. With just a gentle poke, this so-called reality would disappear.
[By the way, Texas.] Lappland said. [Why aren't you wearing your ring today? You used to never take it off once you put it on.]
So the ring on the nightstand was mine. No wonder I felt a special sense of familiarity from it.
[I forgot it today.] I said perfunctorily.
Before I knew it, the crowd began to gather. Maybe to avoid getting separated, or maybe just because she wanted to, she took my hand. Although that hand looked smooth, it was covered with scars of all sizes, and the roots of the fingers were exceptionally rough, like the hands of a warrior who had held a knife for years. Maybe that was who she used to be. Besides, what puzzled me was the ring on her ring finger. A pure silver ring inlaid with a white wolf head, similar in design to the one I had forgotten on the bedside table in the room.
"Why is it on the ring finger?" I thought to myself.
[This lady, please show your identification.]
[Former Infected... Well, congratulations on your recovery now......]
[Infected?]
Hearing this word, a sharp pain came from the bottom of my heart, so painful that tears almost came to my eyes. Why did this word spoken by the border guard hit me so hard? Was it because she used to be an Infected? But... what is an Infected?
While lost in thought, time passed like sanity when looking directly at an ancient god, consumed in the blink of an eye.
When I came to my senses again, I was already sitting in the train seat. I touched the seat under me. The fluff on the soft seat made me want to lean on it forever.
I sat by the window. Outside the window, besides the unchanging barren land, there were some slightly eerie green plants growing on the earth, bringing a hint of life to this devastated world.
Soon, the train entered a tunnel. The scenery outside the window was replaced by darkness. The only light sources were a few Originium lamps in the aisle.
[Texas, do you like this carriage?] Lappland, who had been sitting next to me without speaking, suddenly said.
[Huh] Only then did I notice that the layout of this carriage was very different. The surroundings were inlaid with exaggerated gilding and colorful decorative furniture, exuding a trace of ancient and elegant atmosphere under the slightly dim light. Those reliefs coated with gold powder all showed the royal style. At the same time, beneath the luxurious exterior was extreme simplicity. Under the exquisite design, the original meaning of the furniture—that is, the functions they provided—was not restricted by those seemingly heavy reliefs.
[It's nice, isn't it?] Lappland said. [If it weren't for going home this time, I wouldn't have gone to such great lengths to get tickets for this carriage.]
[I can tell.] I replied.
[Well,] at this moment, the white wolf turned to look at me and said, [do you like it?]
When she said this, the expression on Lappland's face was like someone who had carefully prepared a gift for their lover but didn't know if the other person would like it.
Suppressing the urge to laugh, I turned to look at her and said. [It's pretty good.]
Hearing this affirmation, a bright smile bloomed on Lappland's face. [That's good.]
After a while, Lappland got up and left her seat. [I'm going to the bathroom.]
I nodded slightly to indicate that I knew.
Watching her disappear at the end of the corridor, I leaned back in my seat again. For some reason, this tunnel was surprisingly long. Until now, the outside of the window was still pitch black. The small band in the corner of the carriage was still playing an unknown piece of music. Everything made me want to sleep. Gradually, darkness enveloped me.
I don't know how long passed before I suddenly opened my eyes and looked around. No one. The carriage, which had only a few people to begin with, was now empty except for me. And what made me even more uneasy was where Lappland had gone.
I slowly stood up and walked into the spacious aisle. The musicians who had been playing music were gone, but a very faint music could still be heard in the carriage. This music was like a whisper in the ear, intermittent and erratic, annoying yet making people want to chase its source. I shook my head hard, looked again at the end of the aisle, and slowly walked toward the place where I last remembered Lappland disappearing.
The corridor, which was originally only about ten meters long, now seemed endless. Everything around was constantly extending, as if I would never reach the end. Looking back, my original seat was only two steps away, but I felt like I had been walking for hours, thirsty and uncomfortable.
[Weird.] I murmured.
I took out half a bottle of water from my pocket and drank it in one gulp. I put the empty bottle on the ground in front of me and walked forward again, toward that endless abyss, because she was there.
Suddenly, the super-sensitive sense of smell of my race reacted. I smelled a strange smell in the air, a smell of rust, a smell I should have smelled every day before, but I couldn't remember what it was. Of course, this contradiction of strangeness and familiarity completely dissipated when I passed a seat. A corpse, drained of blood, nailed to the seat with a blade.
No panic, no fear. I felt as indifferent as seeing garbage thrown on the ground on the way home from work, even with a hint of disgust. Staring at that nameless corpse, I began to ask myself: Everything in this carriage gives me an eerie sense of familiarity, making my brain uncontrollably produce such a thought: Is this real or just a dream?
Step by step, I walked on the expensive leather carpet, my eyes only on the exit sign at the end. After a while, the soft feeling of the carpet under my feet disappeared, replaced by a sticky feeling, accompanied by the slapping sound like stepping on puddles. Holding onto the back of the chair beside me, I looked down and lifted my foot. The originally white sole was now dyed a terrible blackish-red color.
[What's going on?]
At that moment, the originally erratic music changed its tune, becoming a noisy, eerie sound full of blasphemous lyrics, like the devil's voice sung during a ghost sacrifice. These sounds confused my hearing and deprived me of the ability to think calmly. Now I couldn't think about why the sole of my shoe had changed color.
I held my head and straightened up again. When I saw the scene in front of me clearly, the effect of the sound temporarily disappeared under the stronger visual impact. I was staring at what was supposed to be a train to Syracuse. This was clearly hell on earth.
I tried to raise my hand, but somehow I was holding two Originium swords emitting a faint orange light in my hands. My hands were sticky. I looked down at my sword-wielding hands. Both the blades and my hands were covered in blood, some already congealed, some still slightly warm. My casual clothes had turned into a red and white windbreaker with white fur trim, though now red occupied a larger area.
[Texas.]
A shout full of provocation and faint madness came from in front of me. I looked up and saw Lappland, but not Lappland. Her blood-stained hands held two strange long swords, and behind her figure, a silver-gray wolf head loomed faintly.
The entire carriage fell silent. The only two living people didn't speak, just looked at each other quietly.
After a while, she smiled. Not the gentle smile I had seen in the morning, but a smile full of madness, weariness with the world, and hatred. In that instant, all the weird music and sounds filled my ears again, hitting my brain directly. That sound was like a life-threatening magic sound yet also like the endless temptation from the devil's mouth to lead people astray.
The angel reliefs carved on the walls began to ooze blood. Those lovely faces became ferocious, their plump wings shed feathers, and their eyes no longer held innocence and loveliness, but endless hatred and anger, like someone who had lost their home, without purpose or hope, only wanting to destroy those who had made them what they were, and then this hateful world.
She moved, walking toward me with that mad smile on her face. I wanted to retreat, I wanted to run away, I even wanted to fight her just to survive, but my body didn't react at all. I just stood there, watching her walk up to me, raise her hands, gently hold my face, and smile again. This time, there was no madness in the smile, only a sense of peace from the bottom of her heart, like the feeling when something beloved finally returns to one's side.
She let go of my hands and took a small step back, smiling at me. At the same time, her body along with the entire carriage began to become turbid. The cups on the table sank into the tabletop, the ground began to swallow the tables and chairs on it, all objects mixed with the nearest things until the white wolf in front of me also sank into chaos, that smile swallowed up and disappeared without a trace.
[Texas?]
Just as chaos was about to swallow my last bit of reason, a pair of hands pressed on my shoulders and shook gently. The evil dissipated, and reason returned. I was back in that carriage. No blood, no corpses, no blasphemous music, no laughing white wolf. Only Lappland in front of me, looking worried.
At this moment, the train finally emerged from the tunnel. The bright sunlight shone through the window on Lappland's back, adding an indescribable dreamy feeling to her, surprisingly reassuring.
[What's wrong with you? Why are you marching in place in the aisle?]
[?]
[Are you sick?]
[??]
[Do you want to see a doctor? There are medical operators on the train?]
[???]
Seeing that I didn't answer, thinking I was really sick, she turned around and took my hand to walk toward the exit.
[I'm fine, just a little tired.] I forced an explanation, then pulled her back to our seats.
[Alright then. If Texas says so, then it's true.] Although she still looked worried, Lappland smiled at me and then settled comfortably into the soft chair.
I also leaned back in my seat, thinking about what had just happened. Why was it so familiar yet so strange? Could it have been a dream? But who was I in that dream?
"The train you are taking has arrived at Syracuse. Please disembark in an orderly manner from the right-hand doors. Thank you for taking this train. We look forward to serving you again."
When we came out of the station, it was already dark. Lappland and I agreed to go to the old house we had in Syracuse for the night first, then take care of things tomorrow.
On the way to the old house, Lappland bought some ingredients from the supermarket, saying she would make mille-feuille for me tonight. "I have a strange feeling of anticipation," I thought.
As soon as we got home, Lappland钻进 the kitchen and started working on her mille-feuille. Since we had already eaten outside, although the taste was unsatisfactory, at least we were full. At the same time, the extra energy brought by the food drove me to do something to consume it. Taking this opportunity, I also started walking around the old house to see what I had experienced in the past.
It turned out that trying to recover old memories by touching old things was unreasonable, but that sense of familiarity from the top of my head to the soles of my feet and even to the tip of my tail made me feel so unreal. It was like a person who had suddenly lost all memories of the people and things she cared about, but her body still made instinctive responses. This separation of consciousness and body and the desire for truth were like two knives, whittling away my reason little by little.
"Pick up your knife."
"Who?!"
"Pick up your knife."
"Who's there!"
Lupos are born with super hearing. I can distinguish the slightest sound. But I couldn't find the source of this damn voice, like the whispers of an ancient god, rootless and without a trace of emotion.
"You've become weak." The voice said.
"I haven't."
"You don't even carry your knife."
"This is a time of peace!"
"You broke your own fangs, you stray dog."
"SHUT UP!!"
My eyes began to bloodshot, the hair on my tail stood on end, my mind fell into chaos, and unconscious growls came from my throat. Anger was pushing me toward madness. "I want to destroy. I want to kill. I am the gray wolf who brings death. I am... Texas!"
[Texas, I'm done. Come and eat quickly.]
A single word woke the dreamer. The madness and bloodthirsty impulse in my heart just now were like the wind, blowing past me but leaving quickly. I gently wiped the cold sweat from my forehead, got off the sofa, turned off the living room light, and walked toward the kitchen.
Out of my sight, two tentacles wrapped in sharp carapace stretched out from under the sofa, gently placing two swords emitting a faint orange light on the sofa where I had just been lying. The tentacles retracted under the sofa again, as if nothing had happened, except for the two sword blades glowing faintly in the darkness.
Pushing open the kitchen door, I glanced inside, then turned and closed the door. I looked up again to confirm that this was indeed the kitchen door, and braced myself to push it open again and go in.
The entire kitchen looked like a war zone. The sink was piled with various used kitchen utensils covered in unknown substances. The originally brown solid wood table was completely dyed white by flour, and in one corner of the table was a pile of dough-like objects that seemed to be failures.
Suddenly, a strange smell like something burning drifted to my nose. Following the smell to the table, I found that the source was the trash can hidden behind several paper bags. I lifted the lid, and a black object glowing with colorful light appeared in front of me. The edges of the weird object had some root-like things wriggling unconsciously. Just as I was staring at this strange thing, an eye slowly opened in the center of the object, with blood-red pupils and whites carved with blasphemous runes, looking at me at the same time. After a brief moment of stunnedness, the eye made a mocking shape, and the surrounding tentacles suddenly burst out stabbing toward me. With quick eyes and hands, I closed the trash can lid. After a violent vibration, everything returned to calm. When I lifted the lid again, there was nothing there.
I stood up. On the opposite side of the table, a fluffy silver-white big tail swept past in front of me. Back and forth, accompanied by soft humming, like a succubus blowing a breeze in my ear, awakening the deepest desires in my heart. Gently shaking my tail, I slowly raised my hand across the table and grabbed the swinging tail in front of me.
[Mmm...]
[Ah!]
An unnatural tremor traveled from the tail to my hand. Immediately afterward, the owner of the tail jumped up from where she was, hit the ceiling, and then fell into a pile of flour. White smoke splashed up, obscuring her figure. When the smoke cleared, her true identity was revealed; it was Lappland, who had been tinkering with mille-feuille in the kitchen since we came back.
[Ah, Texas, what are you doing? Don't grab other people's tails randomly, it's weird.] She rubbed her head and stood up, saying to me.
[I'm sorry.] I bowed slightly to apologize.
[It's okay. If you want to touch it, just tell me.] With that, she turned and walked toward the oven. [Just in time, the mille-feuille is done. Come and taste it.]
Late at night, lying in bed recalling the day's experiences. Not exactly thrilling, but not ordinary either. [I wonder what new things tomorrow will bring.] Thinking of this, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
During deep sleep, human consciousness is like a lost soul wandering in the void, drifting aimlessly.
[Texas.] A voice called, [Are you awake?]
Opening my eyes, a new scene appeared before me. I was sitting on a church bench, and beside me sat Lappland in casual clothes, her long legs propped up on the back of the front bench. The melodious and peaceful music came from a huge pipe organ, calming my nervous emotions.
[Do you remember this place?] Lappland asked.
I tried to think, but my confused mind gave me no answer, so I had to reply [No, I don't.]
[Is that so] Lappland chuckled softly, turned to look ahead [Then watch carefully.]
Following her gaze, at the end of the red carpet in the center of the church stood a person, wearing a gorgeous wedding dress, holding a bouquet of flowers in her hands. For some reason, I couldn't see her face clearly, but through the slightly swaying tail behind her, I could confirm a bizarre fact: she was me, but I had no memory related to this place at all.
I turned to ask Lappland, who had just been sitting next to me, what was going on, but the seat beside me was empty except for some unfamiliar guests.
Panic welled up in my heart.
At this moment, the originally peaceful music began to rise, and countless petals fell from the top of the church. The sound of the door being pushed open came from behind me. Looking back, a figure appeared at the door. Long silver-white hair cascaded over her shoulders, and a conspicuous scar ran from her forehead to her cheek on her beautiful face. She was wearing a black suit trimmed with gold.
"Lappland!" The voice in my heart shouted. Confusion and incomprehension began to swallow the panic. In my line of sight, I suddenly saw a tall figure staring at me; it was a statue, with a halo above its head, wings on its back, holding a sharp weapon and looking down at everyone present. That expressionless face was like the final judge, ruling the fate of each person with absolute authority.
"Don't get distracted." A frivolous voice sounded in my mind, bringing my consciousness back to the ongoing ceremony. At this point, Lappland was already standing in front of the "me" in the wedding dress, their hands clasped together, looking at each other affectionately. Standing between them was a wine-red haired priest, reciting words of blessing one by one.
Suddenly, without warning, the sun dimmed. The originally bright church turned into a dark place supported only by faint candlelight in the blink of an eye. Strangely, no one panicked because the sunlight had gone, as if nothing had happened.
"Crack." The sound of plaster breaking came from all around. One of the originally still statues moved, slowly raising the sword in its hand and slashing at the nearest person. The marble sword easily cut through the man's neck. The head fell to the ground, blood spurted from the cranial cavity, and the headless body swayed a few times before falling onto the chair, motionless.
More sounds of plaster breaking echoed like a requiem from all around. The other five statues also came to life, holding different weapons and harvesting the lives of every guest present. Blood converged into countless rivers flowing through this church. Only then did people seem to realize what was happening and began to panic and try to protect themselves.
Futile resistance was meaningless, but when a blade swings above your head, survival becomes instinct. Waving the orange dual swords that had somehow appeared in my hands, I fought for survival with the last few remaining people.
Survivors remaining: Four.
[Clang!] A spear knocked the axe out of a man's hand, then without hesitation pierced through his head.
Survivors remaining: Three.
[Boom!] An explosive went off between the three of us. The huge impact threw another girl to the ground; in that gap, three swords had already pierced her chest.
Survivors remaining: Two.
The impact from the explosive separated me from the other person, and soon she also fell silent under the siege of the angel statues.
Survivors remaining: One.
Although unwilling, the almost weightless dual swords in my hands had no ability to resist against heavy swords and axes. [Crack.] The blade shattered, and the axe blade grew closer and closer in my eyes.
[Don't give up so easily.] Just as I accepted the fact of death, the frivolous voice that had appeared in my mind earlier sounded again. Accompanying it was a giant gray wolf with wild and crazy aura, instantly destroying the seemingly indestructible angel statue in front of me. My blocked vision cleared again. A figure stood under the statue of the Virgin Mary, holding two strange long swords, charging toward me with a mad smile on her face.
This was supposed to be a one-sided massacre, but after the white wolf entered the scene, the object of the massacre had quietly changed. Blades danced, angels fell. In just a moment, the entire church fell silent again. I stood up and looked at the church in front of me, desecrated by blood and corpses. I felt no fear or panic. All I felt in my heart was a sense of satisfaction at a job well done, as if this hell on earth was the best possible gift.
The person standing in front of me turned around and looked at me. She stuck her dual swords in the ground and raised her hands slightly in a gesture of presenting something.
[Do you like it?] As she said this, that mad smile climbed onto her face again. [This is a gift prepared just for you.]
I took a subconscious step back, looking at her warily. "She's not the Lappland I know. She's just a nightmare in my heart."
Seeing me take a step back, she froze for a moment, then looked at me with full mockery. [You didn't really forget, did you?] She slowly walked toward me.
[The things that happened, the things that will happen.]
Fear pushed me backward until I had nowhere to go.
[The things you said you would never forget, the promises you made.]
She walked up to me and held my face.
[You didn't forget all of them, did you!]
As the words fell, the church fell silent again. She stood in front of me, her breathing rapid with anger, her ferocious face as if she couldn't accept this fact. Our eyes met, and a huge aura rose from behind her, locking my movements, as if I was the prey she was hunting.
After a long time [Sigh.] A long sigh, and the aura dissipated quickly like a deflated balloon. As if accepting reality, she looked at me with a bitter smile and said: "Forgetting... might be for the best."
Rolling black water rose from all around the church, swallowing the flesh and blood on the ground. Unknown things wriggled in the water, their tentacles wrapped in black viscous liquid.
Lappland took a step back. The black water behind her boiled, and immediately afterward, a strange giant beast leaped out of it. It had six pairs of wings all over its body, three pairs of huge vertical pupils of different colors on its head looking in different directions, four deep crimson horns on its back, and its tail fin split into four petals swinging in the air.
[Wake up.] The white wolf said faintly, a charming smile curving at the corner of her mouth.
The giant beast in the air reached the highest point of the church and began to fall under the action of gravity. As it fell, its smooth oval head suddenly split open a huge mouth. Beneath the opening were countless serrated teeth growing on curved mouthparts, pointing directly at where Lappland was standing.
The roof shattered, being drawn into the void little by little. Crazy music rang in my ears, like singing a eulogy for the dead. I was so cold. I couldn't feel my body. I couldn't move. [Boom!] After the loud noise, only a hole was left on the ground, with brilliant starry sky twinkling below.
[NO!!!!]
I sat up screaming, my back soaked with cold sweat. Calming my rapid breathing, I turned to look at the bed beside me. Lappland, who slept terribly, was still there. I pulled her over and hugged her tightly. At least this brief warmth let me know that she was still here.
[Texas,] Maybe my movement was too rough and woke up the white wolf who was having a sweet dream, [What's wrong? It's so early.] She rubbed her eyes and looked up at me.
[It's nothing. I just wanted to see you.] I rubbed my face against the top of her head and said.
[Texas is the best, hehe.] The person in my arms rubbed against my chest and fell asleep again. I looked at the person in my arms, then at the sun gradually rising outside the window. The warmth in my body brought drowsiness again, and I tilted my head and fell asleep once more.
After everything fell silent, the ceiling trembled slightly, and a huge blood-red eye opened. With the opening of the eye, the surrounding scene began to feel unreal, and obscure characters floated on the surface. Whispers appeared in the room, growing louder and louder until they reached a certain peak and then stopped abruptly. The eye closed, the characters dissipated, as if nothing had happened, quietly waiting for the real awakening.
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